A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax.
1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
2. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
3. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
4. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
9. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.
10. How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
11. Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
12. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.
13. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "In an emergency, notify:" I put "Doctor".
14. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
16. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
17. The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
18. Hospitality: Making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
19. I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.
21. I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.
22. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
23. You're never too old to learn something stupid.
24. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Riddle in the Sands: Thousands of Strange 'Nazca Lines' Discovered in the Middle East -- Secret History -- Sott.net
© David Boyer
Ancient mystery: The stone wheels are thought to be 2,000 years old
Ancient mystery: The stone wheels are thought to be 2,000 years old
Satellite and aerial photography has revealed mysterious stone 'wheels' that are more numerous and older than the Nazca Lines in countries such as Syria, Saudi Arabia and Jordan.
The structures are thought to date back 2,000 years, but why they were built is baffling archaeologists and historians.
© David Boyer
Hidden: Thousands of people have probably walked past the structures and not realised what they were
Hidden: Thousands of people have probably walked past the structures and not realised what they were
© David Boyer
Baffling: None of the Nazca Line-like patterns appear to be lined up with astronomical phenomena
Baffling: None of the Nazca Line-like patterns appear to be lined up with astronomical phenomena
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Doctor Who Analogy
Recently, I began thinking of an analogy for the Doctor. It came about from watching the Pandorica Opens episode again. I saw all of the villains that the Doctor has fought come together to protect the universe from the Doctor.
The Doctor is an adventurist. He travels the universe and time as a tourist, sometimes mucking about and making a mess, even hurting others. He has even been accused of murder. The Doctor, I thought. A killer? A danger to society?
I am reminded of America's adventures throughout the world, bring democracy to countries, whether they want it or not. They force their ideals upon others, often at great cost of life and liberty.
Will there ever come a day when all of the nations of the world come together to do something to truly protect the world?
If we can see that the Master is not necessarily the villain he is made out to be, could the Doctor be worse than he imagines himself?
The Doctor is an adventurist. He travels the universe and time as a tourist, sometimes mucking about and making a mess, even hurting others. He has even been accused of murder. The Doctor, I thought. A killer? A danger to society?
I am reminded of America's adventures throughout the world, bring democracy to countries, whether they want it or not. They force their ideals upon others, often at great cost of life and liberty.
Will there ever come a day when all of the nations of the world come together to do something to truly protect the world?
If we can see that the Master is not necessarily the villain he is made out to be, could the Doctor be worse than he imagines himself?
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Sunday, September 4, 2011
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